A lockdown poem by Jan Beaumont

Once again, I have no Capel Ladies Club activities to report on, but recently this poem was doing the rounds on the internet, and as it made me smile I thought it was worth including it here! So – for all CLC members, past, present AND future, and for non-members of a certain age – here is this lockdown poem composed by Jan Beaumont. Enjoy! And let’s hope we’ll be back at CLC soon!

Sue Woolgar


I’m normally a social girl

I love to meet my mates

But lately with the virus here

We can’t go out the gates.

You see, we are the ‘oldies’ now

We need to stay inside

If they haven’t seen us for a while

They’ll think we’ve upped and died.

They’ll never know the things we did

Before we got this old

There wasn’t any Facebook

So not everything was told.

We may seem sweet old ladies

Who would never be uncouth

But we grew up in the 60s –

If you only knew the truth!

There was sex and drugs and rock ‘n roll

The pill and miniskirts

We smoked, we drank, we partied

And were quite outrageous flirts.

Then we settled down, got married

And turned into someone’s mum,

Somebody’s wife, then nana,

Who on earth did we become?

We didn’t mind the change of pace

Because our lives were full

But to bury us before we’re dead

Is like a red rag to a bull!

So here you find me stuck inside

For 4 weeks, maybe more

I finally found myself again

Then I had to close the door!

It didn’t really bother me

I’d while away the hour

I’d bake for all the family

But I’ve got no flaming flour!

Now Netflix is just wonderful

I like a gutsy thriller

I’m swooning over Idris

Or some random sexy killer.

At least I’ve got a stash of booze

For when I’m being idle

There’s wine and whiskey, even gin

If I’m feeling suicidal!

So let’s all drink to lockdown

To recovery and health

And hope this awful virus

Doesn’t decimate our wealth.

We’ll all get through the crisis

And be back to join our mates

Just hoping I’m not far too wide

To fit through the flaming gates!


by Jan Beaumont


P.S. As a Post Script to this CLC contribution I have to report that my doorbell rang yesterday morning – and when I opened the door, I found a present wrapped in yellow tissue with my name on it! Our CLC chairlady Rose waved from her car and said “Enjoy!”

Inside the package was a chocolate Easter egg which had originally been intended as a gift for our “Easter Fun” meeting which never took place, of course! So every Capel Ladies member received their chocolate egg yesterday instead – the day when our Summer Social had been planned  – bringing a smile to all their faces as it had brought to mine!

That was brilliant timing – a cheer-up chocolate treat during lockdown! Cheers to all the CLC Committee for their Delicious Deliveries! Looking forward to catching up when times are more normal again! THANK YOU, Capel Ladies Club!

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